Here’s a post that was made to a group list I’m a member of – let’s call the poster “Shayne”. I think he’s been reading so much Sedaris lately that his sense of humor is being corrupted in a positively uplifting manner of which Mr. Sedaris would be proud! This is genius, priceless and meaningless – and had me rolling on the floor with seriously painful laughter;

I don’t like some things. Some of the things I don’t like make me discontent all on the inside and stuff. Thing 2 is ok. You know? Chocolate Thunder. But Thing 1 just thinks he’s all like hot and cool and whatever, and I’m just like, “whatever, you’re just like Thing 2, but with a 1 on your shirt.” And he’s like, “oh yeah?” Blah, blah, blah, and I’m just like, uhg, “whatever, get back the in the crate.” And the Cat’s just all like jumping around like he’s not even seeing this, and I’m like, “don’t you care?” And he’s like, “I’m jumping! I’m jumping!” and I just want to like die or something. Then I do, and Hell’s like way too hot and stuff, and it like sucks and stuff, and that Satan guy keeps setting everything on fire all the time, like I’m some paper voodoo doll or something. And I’m like, “not everybody likes to be on fire. Perv!” and he’s all laughing and stuff, like I like want to be here or something. Ugh. He’s like so random and retarded or something.